Is the Universe Really Friendly?

Einstein supposedly said that the most important question you could ever ask is “Is the universe friendly?”

We all know persons who believe that the universe is set up to frustrate them and engineers this in the most ingenious ways. Thus, if they decide to go on a vacation, the universe arranges for it to rain every day and that the museums they wish to visit will be closed for renovation.

Most people believe that the universe is neither friendly nor unfriendly. It is indifferent to you and does not even know you exist. So here you are going about doing your thing and there is the universe going about doing its thing. Sometimes it seems to work with you and other times it seems to be at cross purposes. But this is essentially a random process.

But suppose, just suppose, that the universe is aware of you. It knows that you exist and is well-disposed toward you.

If the universe is ‘friendly’ then why does it give you stuff you don’t want? You go on a trip expecting to have a good time and it arranges for your backpack to be stolen. You spend a lot of time and money on a new customer acquisition strategy, and it bombs.

In the ‘benevolent universe’ exercise in my course, I encourage participants to think of the universe as a well-meaning, wise uncle. It gives you exactly what you need for your learning and growth. This may not be something you want. In fact, it may be something that you do not want. But it is precisely what you need, at this stage, for your development. Thus, for example, a child may want a tub of ice cream but the universe, through its parents, may give it fruits and vegetables. It does not want fruits and vegetables but that is what it gets.

It is much later, at a different stage of life, that the now adult can say “Thank God I got fruits and vegetables instead of a tub of ice cream.”

What if the universe was exactly like that? What if it gave you exactly what you needed instead of what you wanted?

One of my smart aleck students said “Professor Rao, you are kidding yourself. And you are misleading everyone as well.”

He was correct. This is kidding yourself. But, you are equally kidding yourself if you believe that the universe is indifferent or unfriendly.

A moment’s reflection will show you that, regardless of whether or not the universe is friendly, your experience of life would improve greatly if you believed that the universe was friendly.

Believing that the universe is ‘friendly’ is a superior mental model. It ensures that you don’t fall down when buffeted by fate. When adversity strikes, you actively look for the lesson that you are supposed to learn rather than bemoan your fate. You become resilient.

Recognizing that a model is superior does not mean that you can adopt it. There are decades of conditioning that you first have to overcome.

So how do you adopt the ‘friendly universe’ model?

Simple. Look for signs that the universe is friendly and has your back.

Think of the numerous times that things have broken your way. You are late finishing your report and your boss has to leave on an unexpected trip so you get more time to complete it. You are on vacation and your backpack is stolen but, miraculously, your passport is still with you because you forgot to put it back.

There are dozens of such incidents in your life. View each one as a ‘miracle’ and a sign that the universe is friendly. Keep a notebook and record each such happening. This is important because you will easily forget them if you do not.

Review your notebook periodically. As the number of incidents of a ‘friendly’ universe multiply, you will find your viewpoint changing. “Is it possible that it really is a friendly universe if there are so many instances where this seems to be the case?”

Persist, and you will tip over. You will be living in a friendly universe and your experience of life will improve markedly.

And what if the universe actually is friendly?

Then magic happens in your life.

I hope you get to experience this. Einstein was no dummy — he nailed it. This is the most important question you can ask yourself.

Peace!