The Three Pillars of Happiness
Sulaiman Niazi is an entrepreneur and a long time coaching client. He is working on an app to foster human connection and cut down on the loneliness that afflicts many of us. It is a deep feeling of alienation that resides in dark corners and we rarely speak about it.
I will address this issue in many future blogs.
Here is the link to the app he is developing:
He recently, for his own use, summarized some of what he got from our work together. I thought you might find this useful as well and he graciously allowed me to share it.
1- TRUST. Do what is at hand and do it with the utmost sincerity. Do it with love, gratitude and an attitude of service — with zero expectation. Let what comes, come. Let what goes, go. Let it all happen with gratitude. You are being drained by the amount of emotional energy you are spending trying to get something into your life that’s not coming OR trying to prevent something that’s leaving your life from doing so. What is meant for you will come your way, and what is not, will not. Don’t label anything ‘good thing’ or ‘bad thing’, it just is. Accept with grace whatever happens. Am I in harmony with the unfolding or resisting it? Life is like Cirque du Soleil, the perfect next trapeze rod or welcoming hand is there when you need it. Surrender to the perfection unfolding.
2- AWARENESS. Twin engines of misery, sorrow, problems. Mental chatter and mental models are the BLOCKS that keep your natural state of happiness from flowering. Mental models give rise to your mental chatter, mental chatter determines your mental models. They reinforce each other. When your mind goes, both the mental chatter and the mental models go.
Observing mental chatter is a great first step, from there it’s ignoring the mental chatter. Don’t even observe, just ignore it.
Mental Models are the cause of ALL your problems and sorrow. Not some or most. ALL of them. Once you identify a dysfunctional model, and replace it with an empowering one, then the work begins of adopting it. Key is identifying the model.
3- FULLNESS. If-then/When-then model. You’re trying to fill an internal feeling you’re not complete through external achievement. Recognize that you’re applying if-then. The more you recognize it, the more the model will drop. You’re doing it FROM happiness, not to get happiness. Everything you do in life is a spontaneous expression of the joy that is within you. Your nature is fullness, joy.
Peace.
